Although we share almost the same likes & dislikes, there are times when we don't see eye-to-eye. Especially in the choice of home deco. He's stubborn in the items he likes and ignores everything else, I'm stubborn in keeping to the theme and ignores what he wants. Sometimes I win, sometimes I give in. And when I give in, I often regret it coz at the end of the day, his choices aren't very good. I'll end up feeling unhappy over why I gave in to him. And he has to suffer the "I told you so!" nagging.
He insisted on buying a big coffee table when we only had the floor plan for measurements. It's a nice japanese looking table, but I am quite sure we'll be walking like crabs within the living room area because of it. Now I just pray hard it fits in well enough for me to walk like a human.
The red light vs white light disagreement over the lotus lamp for GuanYin. I wanted white light, he wanted red light. He said red light is nicer, I felt white light is brighter. After buying the red light, I was freaked out by my room turning red from just 1 of the 2 lamps! Days later we went back to change to the white light. Luckily they agreed to let us exchange and choose other items to make up the price difference. (White lamp is $50 cheaper)
He wanted the light grey with orange sun bedsheet which I felt was boring. I wanted the black & red bedsheet with bamboo prints which he felt was a little dark. We solved the problem by buying both ;p And now we like both sets after admiring it in its packaging every weekend.
Even before we start the reno, he's gotten all excited over the lighting at the entrance. He almost wanted to buy the standing lamp that cost almost $300. No matter how often he brings me to the shop to admire (and try convincing me to buy it), I stand firm. No lights now. If you want, you pay for it. If it doesn't fit the space and theme, u get rid of it at your own cost.
Just in case you're wondering, I'm the CFO at home, holding on to our joint-acc ATM card, bank statements and access to online banking ;p
My sister who has gone through these taught me a good solution to such situations: When you both can't compromise, don't buy it. You may one day see something else that both like. Or 1 side will eventually like what the other initially wanted.
Hmm.... why didn't we think of that earlier? I'll keep this in mind when shopping for other home items. There are still so many items to shop!
Luckily our choices of tiles, theme and other big item furnitures (bed, sofa & dining set) are similar. I can't imagine spending hours at the tile shop and ID office arguing over different choices or looking at tiles/furishings I don't like everyday.
It really isn't easy for a marriage to work. We've to learn to adapt to each other's way of living, ideas, expectation and character. And we're not even married or living together yet! This is just the beginning of a very interesting chapter in our lives :)
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